One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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