Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
