Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
