That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
