At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
