Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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