Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
