never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
