the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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