In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
