Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
