What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
