the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
