wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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