if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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