Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
