he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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