Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just want nice things and good sex
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
