I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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