hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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