I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
