Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
