this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
