It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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