What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
