All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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