Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
