im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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