You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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