dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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