Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
