Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
