don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
