If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
