i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
