i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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