i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
