she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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