I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
