No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
