Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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