It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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