Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
