I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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