Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
