Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
