"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had to cum in my sink.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
