Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
