12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
