Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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