One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
